


Loyaulté me lie

by little_spider



Category: 15th Century CE RPF, Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Battle of Bosworth Field, Crack, Feels, Fix-It, Frigga is Frigg, Gen, Nine is a Yorkist, because he WON dammit, eventual AI crossover sex, gratuitous kittens, i can't hear you over my history headcanon, warning: glitter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-23
Updated: 2014-08-23
Packaged: 2018-02-14 08:10:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2184291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/little_spider/pseuds/little_spider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For York, and England! In which superheroes, a time-traveling alien, a Norse god, one stow-away kitten, and two regular human ladies travel back in time to fix an anomaly in the historical timeline, avert widespread disaster, save some lives, and smash some treasonous rascals. Oh! Also, Nine gets to ride piggy-back on Steve Rogers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loyaulté me lie

" _Otyebis, zasranets_."

Apparently kittens didn't understand Russian, as tiny needle-sharp claws continued anchoring themselves along the backs of her thighs. By the time Natasha moved from her plank to downward-facing dog, the creature had climbed all the way to her rump, so she gave up her twenty sun salutations as a lost cause, grabbed the little beast from where it had gotten itself stuck on her yoga pants, and headed into the kitchen to make the coffee.

It was late August, and hot as Hades. To make it worse, the air conditioning in Avengers Tower had been offline since Tony had been trying to rewire the climate control in the entire building to a new and unwisely untested arc reactor model, insisting the minor modification would entirely eliminate its ozone-destroying effect. Unfortunately this resulted in something akin to a minor volcanic eruption in the facilities room and completely fried the whole climate control system yesterday morning. Last night, 8:22 pm marked an historic first in obscenities as Bruce, a little green around the gills, announced "Fuck this shit," and headed to a hotel.

But it turned out that the coffee maker wasn't actually working and Natasha got a sinking feeling when she opened the fridge to take the kitten food out (the two orange things were mewing at decibels that were just not _right_ coming out of their tiny bodies, and especially not at around . . . huh, the clock wasn't working) and the fridge light was out. The fans didn't seem to be on either, and Jarvis (who, despite his occasional passive aggressive comments, had _never_ given Natasha the complete silent treatment, ever) didn't answer when she asked him where his definitely not omnipotent nor omniscient creator was located so that Natasha could go deliver him the most well deserved roundhouse kick in the history of creation.

Just then Stark himself stalked in and froze when he saw Natasha.

"Look, okay, I was trying to rewire the whole system overnight and hook it up to the main power grid because I swear to God I knew the new model could handle the load and you better just hit me now because I know it's going to happen sometime within the next thirty seconds and I'd rather get it over with," he chattered, and delivered her the most sad-puppy look she'd ever seen, even through the dense layer of soot on his face.

Clint padded in to the common room, glanced at the two of them, and burst out laughing. "Hey genius, your eyebrows are singed and your face sorta looks like a potato right now."

Clint was still laughing when Steve and then Darcy arrived, muttering about the heat and humidity.

"Dude!" Darcy cackled loudly. "He's got no eyebrows!"

Jane and Pepper stormed in next, the latter talking down the former, who had murder in her eyes. Apparently none of the tower inhabitants could sleep when it was five in the morning and already 80 degrees.

"Tony, I'm calling Con Edison."

"No, no no no, Pepper, I've got this. I just need to find my needle nose pliers and -- "

"Tony. You have thirty-seven different pairs of needle nose pliers scattered in various piles of scrap metal and tools in your lab. You have five minutes, starting now." He started trudging toward the door, and cast the sad-puppy look back over his shoulder.

"Look on the bright side, folks," Steve said, "at least we've got water. Everybody can take a cold shower while we wait for the power to come back on." But Tony turned around and scratched his head.

"Um, yeah, about that . . . "

"I am going to kill you. It's my first day, I have to schmooze with these famous people in astrophysics who are going to be my colleagues, and I am _SO_ stressed out right now. Stark, I am going to kill you right now so help me God by the time I'm done -- "

"Pepper, I'm going to tase your boyfriend. Is it okay if I tase your boyfriend?"

"Everyone, can we just get alo-- ". But Steve's voice was drowned out in the sudden squabble.

Natasha sighed, and turned around to feed the two kittens the squashy and thoroughly nauseating wet food from the fridge.

As if things couldn't get any more chaotic and unjustly loud, there was a sudden boom, a bright column of light on the balcony and a sudden smell of ozone as Thor made his trademark dramatic entrance. Or he would have, if his cape had been waving in a breeze instead of hanging limply at his back in the thick, still air.

"My friends, pardon my intrusion. I realize that it is early, but this is an emergency." He paused and frowned. "By Mymir's paps, but it is hot as Muspelheim!"

"Did he just say 'paps'? Guys, Muscles just said 'paps.' "

"Shut up, Tony," said at least four voices in irritated chorus.*

"Thor," said Steve. "What's the emergency?"

The big man's brows furrowed. "It is complicated to explain, but we don't have much time. I will put it simply: we must go to the defense of a brave and noble man, and protect him from villainous and foul treason."

"Jane, have you been getting him to read Shakespeare or something? I thought you were supposed to be prepping for classes."

" _Shut up, Tony!_ "

"Thor," said Steve, with infinite patience. "Can you be more specific?"

Natasha settled herself cross-legged on the floor, alarmed. By now Jane had barreled across the room and flung her arms around Thor. In turn he wrapped his arm absent-mindedly around her shoulders, almost as if he was not fully aware of her presence. Natasha had rarely seen him as distracted and worried as this.

"Something has gone wrong. It seems like a small thing, but sometimes even the most insignificant happening can have dire consequences." Thor pursed his lips, frowning. "I shall try to explain. I shall use a thing called 'metaphor.' Think of . . . think of a tree. If the gardener should prune the wrong branch, the tree might take a completely different shape. Say the gardener prunes the strong branch, and he leaves behind the weaker branch. No, instead, say he leaves behind the branch that is covered with ivy! Eventually, the ivy-covered branch will -- "

"Thor," Natasha interjected, "nobody has any idea what you're talking about." She winced a bit, because his face was suddenly crestfallen, and it wasn't a good look for Thor.

"Yeah, buddy, can you be more concise?"

"I shall try again."

Thor didn't get a chance to try again, though, because there was a sudden flash of green light and a showering of what looked like . . . _glitter?_ . . . and a very tall, very regal woman was suddenly standing next to him.

"Mother!" Thor flung his free arm around the woman's shoulders. "These here are my friends and fellow shield-companions! Friends, this is my mother, Queen Frigg. Mother, you remember Jane, of course. This lovely damsel with red hair is the Lady Natasha, and -- "

"Pleasure," the woman said. Her voice was brisk, and her eyes meant business. From the little Natasha knew about Thor's family life, she had assumed that his mother must be the most patient and long-suffering soul in existence, but it was apparent now that the queen of Asgard was made of stronger stuff. Frigg turned to Thor. "Darling, you are explaining this terribly. And a metaphor must have an antecedent, by the way." 

Thor's face turned sullen. "I am not stupid, Mother. And I was getting to the point -- ", but she bulled right over him. 

"Yes, dear, I know you were." Natasha smiled to herself. This woman was forged from steel. Of course she would have to be. Frigg clapped her palms together. "I shall be brief. I have not yet ascertained why, but some power has altered a single event in the past. The consequences are long-reaching, and potentially dire. Thor has assured me that -- ".

But there was yet another interruption as a rhythmic sound began to flood the common room. Frigg grit her teeth and thrust her lower jaw out in frustration; the expression struck Natasha as eerily familiar. Darcy blurted that it sounded like Galapagos tortoises copulating, if they were robot Galapagos tortoises. Natasha was wondering how Darcy Lewis came to be familiar with the sound of tortoise coitus when a blue structure came into view on the balcony.

"Okay I'm going to go ahead and suggest that Doom put something in the water here because that is not an actual, real, old-school telephone booth that just magically appeared on my balcony."

"The water isn't on, Tony. You broke it," Steve said in a strangled voice. "And that's a police box, not a telephone booth." Natasha and Clint were on their feet and gliding to either side of the balcony door. She felt naked without a weapon, but fists were better than nothing. Frigg, meanwhile, had started smiling. 

The police box door swung open then and a man leapt out, pointed to a spot on the balcony, and laughed. "Ha! Bifrost signature! I knew it!" And Natasha couldn't quite put her finger on it, but her gut told her that the man wasn't a threat, and that he might be the exact opposite, in fact. His face split into a wide grin.

" _Frigg!_ "

"Doctor!"

Then they were hugging and shouting in excitement at each other as old friends do, Thor was shifting from one foot to the other uncomfortably, and the rest of the team continued to be very confused.

"It's been ages -- too long, Doctor!"

"Quite so. Frigg, is that . . . " He pinched some of the sparkling stuff in his fingers and examined it. "Is that . . . glitter?"

"It is. One of the girls insisted on putting the stuff in my hair today. I'm not sure I like it."

"It looks fantastic!" If Natasha was not mistaken, the queen of Asgard was in fact blushing. "How are your little lads?"

"Not so little anymore."

"And how is Odin?"

"Very good. But very tired. I must leave soon, and rule for him while he sleeps."

"And a fine ruler you shall be." The man paused, blinked, and suddenly his face was grave. "We're here for the same reason."

"Yes. You must have sensed it at the same time I did." 

"Sensed what?" Bruce had ambled in, a cup of Starbucks in hand (damn him).

"Ah! My apologies. I'm the Doctor. Which Revenger are you?" He shook Bruce's hand vigorously. Bruce looked a little pained.

"Avengers, Doctor. Not Revengers." A young woman, peroxide-blonde, emerged from the police box and stood at the entrance to the balcony.

"Somebody sent me a text saying we're assembling?" Bruce looked confused. In the background Natasha heard Darcy moaning quietly for coffee, Tony whispering something about a "milf" to Thor, and Jane muttering back that Tony needed to stop "being such a pig" or she would tell Pepper. Then Clint reached for Tony with two hands and gave him a surprise double-helping nipple-twist, Tony roared in outrage and shoved Clint back, and Clint toppled, knocking over the coffee table and sending four wine glasses from last night flying. Bruce was starting to look a bit green again.

Steve stood and cleared his throat loudly. "Ma'am, Sir." He bowed to Frigg and shook police box man's hand, before offering them both a dignified salute. Police box man saluted him back. Natasha glared hard at Clint, who was still snickering at Tony.

"Captain Steve Rogers, at your service. I apologize sincerely for the antics of my comrades here. I promise you that if you could explain to me the gist of the mission, we'll all get right to business."

"Right!" Police box rubbed his palms together. "Time." His face became deadly serious. "Time isn't simply linear, and we've got to understand this so it's clear why this battle is so important."

"Battle? Did he say 'battle'? I thought this was helping out a guy. Weren't we going to defend him from robots?"

"Treason, Tony," Natasha said.

"Yes, it is a battle that we'll be fighting, one in the distant past. Time works, hmmm. Well, think of a loom. It has a warp and a weft. Now, you've got a number of stable, parallel fibers -- the weft! Then you've got the warp, the part that weaves back and forth through the weft, all kind of bendy and flowy -- "

Frigg sighed. "Doctor, you're explaining this terribly. And you've got them reversed, by the way. The warp is the upright thread, the stable thread."  
"You ever worked on a loom, Doctor?" The blonde woman frowned at him and popped her gum.

"Eh, no." Natasha decided that crestfallen was an even worse look on this police box doctor than it was on Thor. Gum-popper seemed to think so as well, for she patted his arm sadly.

"Right." Frigg pressed a hand to her forehead and closed her eyes briefly. "Captain Rogers, listen well."

"Ma'am." Steve stood at attention. Somehow he pulled it off despite his Hulk pajama pants.

"My son assures me that your team is both reliable and honorable. I am depending on you to right this disturbing alteration the Doctor and I have so recently sensed. I shall put it briefly, and I expect not to be interrupted again." She surveyed the crew with a steel-cold gaze. Thor actually quailed under it. 

"A battle took place many years back in your realm of Midgard, one where a king sought to defeat a small army of mercenaries raised by a traitor. Doctor -- " She cast a winning smile in his direction. "Since you are here so fortuitously, I request that you bring the Avengers to the site of this battle, so that they can assist in the defeat of this treasonous upstart and right the tide of time and history again."

There was a bit of a pause before Natasha spoke up quietly. "What you're saying is that we need to travel back in time?"

"Precisely." Frigg seemed relieved that someone, finally, seemed to be following her. Natasha turned her gaze to the tall man, this "Doctor" person.

"And you," she said, "are going to take us?"

"I am. That is, Rose and I will take you all there." He grinned.

"We'll take you there in the Tardis." The young woman -- Rose -- popped her gum again and gestured out to the balcony. "I'm Rose Tyler. This is the Doctor."

*****

Eventually, under the joint direction of Steve and Pepper, the group had managed to disperse to their quarters, retrieve their various firearms, knives, arrows and other projectiles, spare t-shirts, deodorant, spandex garments, vibranium shields, shiny new composite bows, duct tape, three separate suitcases containing four (!) slightly varying models of the Ironman suit, a backpack full of Clif bars, grenades, hair gel, carpal-tunnel support bracers in assorted sizes, travel-Zafu, and a sword that omebody found in their closet (which Natasha suspected was a Game of Thrones souvenir), and gather on the balcony outside of the Tardis. Pepper, Jane, and Frigg stood to one side while Rose did a headcount. She knew all of the Avengers' names already.

Finally, they appeared ready to go.

"Please be careful, Thor!" Jane was a bit teary-eyed, though it might have been the sweat that was dripping off her face. Everyone was a bit sticky at this point.

"I shall, and I will return to you within a day! Good luck at the orientation and your Faculty Symphony Althing!"

"Symposium!" Jane was starting a new job in the physics department at NYU, and had been anxiously awaiting her orientation today.

"Thor, darling, cape." Frigg raised her eyebrow meaningfully.

"My taser charger!" Darcy shrieked and hurtled back through the common area.

"Mu-Mother, my cape is necessa-- " 

Clint shot Natasha an incredulous look. "The god of thunder seriously almost called her his 'mum' in front of us all." He snorted in delight.

"No capes!" Frigg barked. She snatched the red cape from his shoulders and kissed him on the cheek. "Too dangerous. It could get caught on a halberd, or stepped on by a horse, and you would be trampled." Thor scowled.

"We're missing . . . " Rose was biting her lip. "Who are we missing?"

Darcy flew back through the common room and skidded to a stop on the balcony, crashing into Bruce. "Charger is present!"

"Ehm, you're gonna need a converter to hook up to the Tardis' power, Darcy. The Doctor wired it to U.K. outlets for me so I could bring my hair dryer."

"I figured that might have been the case. Darcy, here," said Pepper, handing her a converter. As usual, she was three steps ahead of everyone else.

"Mr. Stark isn't here yet." Rose did her headcount again. "Yep, still waiting on him and . . . who else? Oh, right!" She laughed. "Where's the Doctor?"

"Oh my God, Tony. Where the hell did you go? _Tony!!_ "

The Doctor strode up, all long limbs, wide grin, and enormous ears. He made his way through the herd of cats and swung open the door to the police box. "Ready?" There was a brief lull in the hubbub before Bruce spoke.

"If I'm not mistaken, that box looks like it could comfortably fit at most two people, not counting their gear, and not counting any equipment that could make up any sort of engine. Don't get me wrong, Doctor, I'm not questioning your competence. I'm just concerned about pragmatics here."

Rose gave him a smile and a gentle squeeze on the arm. "Don't worry, Dr. Banner. We'll all fit." Bruce looked down, blushed, and then shrugged to himself before shuffling in the door, clutching his Zafu. The rest of the team followed suit, though Natasha found herself hesitating.

"Pepper, you're not going?" Tony asked. He'd chosen that moment to amble back to the common room, eyes and fingers glued to his Starkphone.

"There's a board meeting this afternoon. And somebody has to be here this morning to manage the power outage, remember?"

"And feed my kittens tonight!" Darcy hollered from inside the box.

"Tony, there's not much time, even in a vessel such as the Tardis." Frigg's voice was anxious.

"Sorry. Sorry guys. Had to drop the kids off at the pool." A chorus of disgusted groans came from inside the police box. Thor's head appeared at the door.

"Anthony, I was not aware you had children!"

"I don't have kids, big guy. Just one more sec and I'll be ready. Doc, you have internet in this thing, right?" Tony's fingers flew over the touchscreen. Thor frowned in confusion and looked at Jane, who shook her head. Pepper pressed her palm to her forehead and muttered something about the malfunctioning water and toilet bowls.

"No internet, Mr. Stark. Sorry."

"Eh, no internet, no problem. Should be uploaded in thirty seconds. Sexy mutable plasmic interface, by the way." The Doctor got a triumphant look on his face. 

The queen of Asgard spoke. "Anthony Stark. It is nearing seven of the morning. You have many years and more than 3,000 of your miles to travel. I will count to ten, and then I will transport you bodily into that vessel." At that, Tony actually glared -- _glared!_ \-- at Frigg. She extended a hand, quietly murmured under her breath, and watched as green light swirled above her palm and then plunged to circle rapidly around Ironman's feet. He made a small squeak as he began to levitate above the floor. The green light seemed to uncoil and rise up to envelope him, and he shot Pepper a wink and blew her a kiss just as Frigg flicked her fingers and he was abruptly blasted straight through the open door of the blue box.

Natasha held back a moment, pondering the disquiet in her heart. Her team -- including Clint -- had just accepted a mission with no recon, no detailed intelligence delivered from SHIELD, no contact by Coulson or Fury, based on a feeling had by a long-lived alien they'd never met before (Thor's mother, but still, as far as Natasha was concerned, an unknown quantity) and confirmation by two oddballs who'd suddenly appeared on their doorstep, figuratively speaking, claiming that an old-fashioned police box was in fact a time machine. Everything -- _everything_ \-- about this mission had her instincts screaming _this is wrong, wrong, wrong_ , to the point that she wondered if she was still asleep and dreaming, or if the heat had gone to all of their heads. The Doctor waited at the door, watching her with a half-smile. His eyes were kind. 

"Trust me," he said. But it wasn't in Natasha's nature to trust easily, not anymore.

"Where are you taking us?" Her voice sounded hoarse.

"To a small village in Leicestershire called Market Bosworth. If we get there in time, we might even be able to avert the battle."

"When? How far back?" 

The Doctor paused for a moment. When he spoke, his voice was quiet.

"Early morning, the twenty-second of August. The year of Our Lord 1485."

She couldn't see inside the door with the sun rising behind the phone box. Clint could be dead already, for all she knew. She felt her breaths coming, fast and heavy, her belly in knots. Tears pricked at her eyes, even though Natasha hadn't cried in almost two decades, and she refused to cry now. Then Steve poked his head out the door.

"Agent Romanoff? The team needs you." She abruptly shook herself and straightened her spine. There wasn't much she deemed worthy of her loyalty: not the government, certainly not SHIELD and its bureaucracy, and not even such abstract and shifting concepts as justice, or freedom. But she was loyal to her team. She inhaled slowly, deeply, and stepped through the door. There was a bright laugh, innocent, and an almost childlike voice -- her own voice? -- said in wonder:

"This thing . . . It's bigger, on the inside."

**Author's Note:**

> With hugs to tumblr users danainthedogpark and smallsoapdish for giving this thing a spin, and for bringing my attention to a really horribly glaring error re: the TARDIS. Any mistakes, logic problems, gaping plot holes, typos, lack of clarity, grotesque stylistic issues, and the like are the result of me probably not taking their advice.
> 
> "Otyebis, zasranets" = something like "fuck off, you shit/pest," but with an affectionate slant. Thanks to tumblr user albinopeacockinwiltshire for helping me out with this phrase!


End file.
